pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
