I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
