remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
