It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
