just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
