Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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