is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
