Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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