He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
