is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
