New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
