At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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