Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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