if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
