I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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