When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
