so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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