I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
