Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
