Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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