CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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