dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
