You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
don't judge my taste in strippers
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
