Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
