I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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