How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
