I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
