I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
