my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
