going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I deserve this hangover.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
