I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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