And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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