My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
nutella sex= disaster
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
