ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
