It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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