I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the liver wants what the liver wants
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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