I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
