Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
