it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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