i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
