Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
