Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you win again, gameday.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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