we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Panties = found
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
