Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
