i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A bitchslap is in order.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
