Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
