May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
