'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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