my vag is so smooth its legendary
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
