I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
