why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
