so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
