Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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