worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
