And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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